revised opinions and Google Plus says who?

I want to start my post with revised opinion on gel liner.  As you may have read, I wasn’t impressed with Avon’s gel liner.  I thought it sucked.  However, I think I spoke too soon.  I’ve been using my eye pencil recently.  I love the smudgy undereye look – it really helps to open up my squinty little eyes – and I’ve also started to apply a little outward flick on my upper eyelids for a 1960s cat eye look.  A crisp line is needed for the perfect cat eye but my pencil gets rather smudgy after a while, leaving me looking like a Victorian chimney sweep in the eye area.  Not great.

This is where gel liner comes in because that stuff does not budge at all.  In fact, trying to remove it from your eyes with make up remover is a real pain in the butt.  You can use it to create dramatic lines and it stays put so I’ll concede and say yeah, gel liners are okay (but liquid liner is still tops in my book).

In other news, I’m going to be helping out an organisation called ‘women’s networking hub’.  I’m going to help with twitter updates and creating content for the website which sounds pretty fun.  I met the lady who runs it and she’s really cool and has done a lot despite no funding.  2012 is going to be my year inshallah so this is the first of good things to come.

***

It’s come to my attention that my rishta post has been Google plussed.  I have no idea how to use Google+ and I’m not a user so I don’t know the identity of the person who Google plussed it or who they shared it with. 

Who is this enigmatic person?  I’m not trying to start a witch-hunt – I’m genuinely curious!  If the person reading this is you, can you tell me what you liked about it?  Or why you wanted to share it?  You can leave me a comment if you wish.

I wrote that post in a very agitated, angry state of mind.  It was one of those ‘I have to get this off my chest’ moments.  It’s funny how eloquent and articulate you can be when you’re upset and pissed off.  After I wrote it up and posted it, I spoke to my friend over the phone and talked it all out which felt great.  I don’t harbour any ill-will towards the guy. 

However, I’m still waiting on my phone call.  I’ve given up hope that he will phone.  I think his kind words were just hollow, meaningless words – oh, the drama of it all – and that he has no intention to phone me.  Part of me is totally fine with that because I don’t hold a torch for him but on the other hand I could really do with the career advice he could have given me!

Damn it. 

Dear reader, I texted him

I'm an idiot.

A complete and utter moron.

Why did I text him?

Why am I anxious for him to call me back like he said he would?

Okay, so let me tell you what’s been going on in my life.  as you read before, I had a rishta.  He told me over the phone I wasn’t the right one for him.  I accepted it (I have no choice but to accept it).

I got on with my life.  I went to visit my friend who had baby recently.  I must have been in a state of shock because I forgot how much newborn babies freak me out.  They are so tiny!  They eat, sleep and cry.  That’s it.  Just the three settings.  Her baby was crying and I was too freaked out to even try and hold her (I typed ‘it’ before correcting myself, ha! I'm sooo not maternal). 

Anyways, my friend was asking me about how I was.  I need to get my arse in gear and sort out the mess that is my life and I was spurred on to search counselling courses online.  I found a masters course which sounded interesting and suddenly an idea popped into my head. 

Why not text the guy who offered his help to me while refusing marriage?  We both studied the same subject at uni although he has progressed much further in his career than I have. 

It seemed like a good idea.  I rummaged through my bin for his discarded phone number, retching in the process at the thrown away tissues and hair. Ewwwwww!  I composed an apologetic text that basically said ‘I know this is cheeky but can you help me?’

After waiting for an agonising couple of hours and he texted back saying yes, he would like to help.  I was elated (his text totally made rummaging through the bin worth it) and he said he would call the next day.

That was two days ago.

I am in a nervous state waiting on his call. 

When will he call?

What will I say when he calls?

Has he regretted his reply already? 

Does he think I'm a mad stalker?

Isn’t this going to get more awkward the longer he leaves it to contact me?

Oh God, he's waiting it out - he deffo thinks I'm a nutjob...

Ugh.  This is actually going to drive me insane.  If he does call, it will be the first and last phone call I ever make to him.

I AM SO STUPID!

Heartbreak rishta hotel

Soooooooo… 2012 already, huh? 

Is it me or did it come around fast?  It sounds dumb to be taken by surprise but I feel like there was something quite anti-climatic about the end of 2011.  Considering the events that happened throughout the year – Arab Spring, death of OBL, England riots, to name a few – I suppose I expected something more than fireworks and ‘hello 2012’. 

I think I could have done with the distraction of world events.  Home life for me has been really quite difficult and particularly tense this Christmas.  For goodness sake, we don’t even celebrate Christmas and yet I still manage to ruin xmas lunch with a blazing row.  I’m surprised the neighbours didn’t call the police but I can thank the middle class neighbourhood we live in for having a ‘we don’t like to get involved’ attitude.  Or maybe they were enjoying their own particular brand of hell that seems to descend upon the ‘holiday season’.