Dear reader, I texted him

I'm an idiot.

A complete and utter moron.

Why did I text him?

Why am I anxious for him to call me back like he said he would?

Okay, so let me tell you what’s been going on in my life.  as you read before, I had a rishta.  He told me over the phone I wasn’t the right one for him.  I accepted it (I have no choice but to accept it).

I got on with my life.  I went to visit my friend who had baby recently.  I must have been in a state of shock because I forgot how much newborn babies freak me out.  They are so tiny!  They eat, sleep and cry.  That’s it.  Just the three settings.  Her baby was crying and I was too freaked out to even try and hold her (I typed ‘it’ before correcting myself, ha! I'm sooo not maternal). 

Anyways, my friend was asking me about how I was.  I need to get my arse in gear and sort out the mess that is my life and I was spurred on to search counselling courses online.  I found a masters course which sounded interesting and suddenly an idea popped into my head. 

Why not text the guy who offered his help to me while refusing marriage?  We both studied the same subject at uni although he has progressed much further in his career than I have. 

It seemed like a good idea.  I rummaged through my bin for his discarded phone number, retching in the process at the thrown away tissues and hair. Ewwwwww!  I composed an apologetic text that basically said ‘I know this is cheeky but can you help me?’

After waiting for an agonising couple of hours and he texted back saying yes, he would like to help.  I was elated (his text totally made rummaging through the bin worth it) and he said he would call the next day.

That was two days ago.

I am in a nervous state waiting on his call. 

When will he call?

What will I say when he calls?

Has he regretted his reply already? 

Does he think I'm a mad stalker?

Isn’t this going to get more awkward the longer he leaves it to contact me?

Oh God, he's waiting it out - he deffo thinks I'm a nutjob...

Ugh.  This is actually going to drive me insane.  If he does call, it will be the first and last phone call I ever make to him.

I AM SO STUPID!