Two Beds and a Coffee Machine

I’ve been having a little Darren Hayes/Savage Garden retrospective on youtube recently.  As music snob in the 90s I couldn’t bear Savage Garden.  They didn’t inspire much love from the music critics either who wrote them off as derivative and banal.  That didn’t stop the band from being absolutely EVRYWHERE.  They sold millions and I have vivid memories of ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ playing in the sixth form common room.  Good grief, I hated that song.  I’d walk into Topshop and ‘Affirmation’ would be playing with shoppers mouthing the lyrics.  I could hear even my friends sing along.  I didn’t get it.  The only song I could even admit to liking was ‘I Want You’ – an 80s throwback with a prominent guitar riff. 

Savage Garden split up after just two albums and Darren Hayes launched a solo career.  Listening to his solo effort, something in my brain clicked and I finally got it.  What a voice!  Such sincere, heartfelt lyrics!  It all made sense somehow.  It was unashamedly romantic (and strange in places).  I bought Darren’s first two solo albums and I’ve been revisiting them lately.  I found the Savage Garden track ‘Two Beds and a Coffee Machine’.  Listening to it, I was surprised by the lyrics. 

It told a story from Darren’s own life.  Growing up, he was a witness to domestic violence in his family.  I can’t imagine how frightening it would be to live in an environment like that.  It took Darren a long time to come to terms with it.  He said in an newspaper interview, “I was profoundly affected by my childhood and it was time for me to take responsibility for who I am and deal with that.”  Being a performer he expressed his feelings through his music and his family came through (his father was an alcoholic) their problems. 

In the media, Dennis Waterman has been creating waves with his comments he gave to Piers Morgan.  It was all over twitter and has caused fury.  He admitted to hitting his wife because she could argue well and he resorted to hitting her but he made the distinction that "She certainly wasn't a beaten wife, she was hit and that's different."

Erm…

Hearing it from the perpetrator’s mouth, it certainly gives an insight.  For Dennis, there was a line drawn and he didn’t cross it as far as he was concerned.  For the rest of us, it’s simple.  A hit is a hit.  Whether it’s one hit or twenty.  Whether you are battered to the floor or hit across the face.  A hit is abuse.  But of course, for many people, there exists those shades of grey where excuses are given and one can be manipulated into a different way of thinking.  We need to shine a light on those areas and say that physical abuse is not acceptable.  There are many ways to avoid confrontation.  Simply walking away and cooling off would be a good start. 

Reading about Dennis, I feel like there are many stories out there that we don’t hear about.  Perhaps things we don’t want to hear but maybe it’s necessary so that we can come to an understanding as well as educate ourselves on the realities of domestic abuse.  It is possible to make it through for everyone involved.  Surely, every story deserves a happy ending?