silence

I always do this.

I hit a massive stumbling block and can’t seem to write anything.

I am active on social networking and blogging sites but then when my personal life events interfere with my well-being (read as: shit hits the fan) I just clam up entirely. My livejournal is the internet equivalent of the Marie Celeste floating emptily on the seas with only a post dating back to February 2010.

It neatly reflects the way I conduct myself in real life too. I can’t talk about my problems and I will not broadcast them on the internet so I end up a ghostly presence that checks my facebook, live journal etc daily whilst not appearing on any of them.

I don’t want this blog to be set aside but jeez, things in my life are not going well. As an unmarried Muslim woman, I am keenly feeling the pressure of not being married. I’m having a sort of mid-life crisis and it’s wearing me down as well as those around me. My imaan has ebbed to an all-time low.

I can’t write when I’m this unhappy.

As a psych grad, I know that it’s the coping mechanism to stress not the stressful situation itself that affects you; therefore, you have a choice in letting things get to you. Well, I guess things are getting to me a little.

I wanna be on top of this blog, so I hope to blog in happier times soon. I know I can shake this off.